How to stay in touch with friends when life gets busy
How to stay in touch with friends when life is busy: pick your people, give each a rhythm, keep contact small and know what to say after a long gap.
Guides
Friendship, explained kindly.
Friendship doesn’t come with a manual, so we wrote 27 chapters of one. Funny, research-checked and free of guilt trips.
The best apps to keep in touch with friends on iPhone, compared honestly (ours included)
We lined up seven apps to keep in touch with friends on iPhone and compared the price, free limit, where your data lives and who each one suits.
Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? (It’s not you, it’s the missing recess)
Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? What adulthood quietly took away, where adults meet friends now and a 2-minute check of what’s missing.
QuizAm I a bad friend? A kind quiz for people who forget to reach out
Am I a bad friend for not reaching out? Take a kind 10-question quiz, find out which sort of “bad” you are and get one small fix for this week.
CalculatorHow many hours does it take to make a friend? The 50/90/200 study, with a calculator
How many hours does it take to make a friend? Jeffrey Hall’s 50/90/200-hour study in plain English, what counts as time together and a calculator.
How often should you talk to your friends? A rhythm you’ll actually keep
How often should you talk to your friends? A rule of thumb for close friends, good friends and old ones, plus a calculator and the research on drift.
How to set a reminder to call someone on iPhone (once, every Sunday or for everyone)
How to set a reminder to call someone on iPhone: the Siri sentence to use, a repeat for every Sunday, call-backs and what to do past five people.
Bad at texting back? A guilt-free plan for paying off your reply debt
Bad at texting back? Why replies pile up, whether it’s rude to leave it for days and a guilt-free system that stops friends feeling ignored.
What to text a friend you haven’t talked to in a while: 30 messages you can actually send
Not sure what to text a friend you haven’t talked to in a while? Here are 30 warm, ready-to-send messages, whether it’s been a few months or a few years.
QuizOne-sided friendship? What to do when you’re always the one reaching out
One-sided friendship or a friend who never texts first? Spot the real signs, take a kind quiz and find the words to raise it or step back.
How often should you call your parents? (Plus Nan, Pop and your siblings)
How often should you call your parents as an adult? What most adults really do, a family rhythm calculator and easy call ideas for Mum, Nan and siblings.
ADHD object permanence and friendships: how to keep the people you love in sight
ADHD object permanence with friends: why you ‘forget’ people you love, why texts go unanswered and an external-brain system that keeps friends in sight.
How to remember birthdays (even with a memory like a sieve)
How to remember birthdays without a great memory: set up iPhone birthday alerts, keep a paper backup or use a friend app, plus what to text on the day.
Forgot a friend’s birthday? Belated birthday messages for a friend that still land
Belated birthday messages for a friend: 16 to copy, sorted by how late you are, plus what to do now and whether it’s ‘happy belated’ or ‘belated happy’.
How to reconnect with an old friend (without making it weird)
How to reconnect with an old friend after months or years: what to say first, why it’s less weird than you fear and how to stop it fading again.
Who to message over the holidays (and how to not send forty texts on Christmas Eve)
Who to message over the holidays: the friends to put on your list, the ones to skip, how to spread the hellos out and messages to copy.
How to apologise for not texting back (without grovelling), from a day late to a year
How to apologise for not texting back or responding to a text: what to say by how late you are, what works and what to do if they reply coldly.
How to make friends in a new city: a 90-day plan for after the boxes are unpacked
How to make friends in a new city: why turning up to the same things works, where to meet people and a 90-day plan you can set to your moving date.
How to ask a friend to hang out (without sounding desperate, or like it’s a date)
How to ask a friend to hang out without sounding desperate: why people say yes more than you think, invite texts to copy and what to do after ‘maybe’.
How to host Friendsgiving without it turning into a second job
How to host Friendsgiving: when to hold it, who to ask, an invite text to copy and how to run the potluck so the host gets to sit down too.
How to check in on a grieving friend: how often, what to say and the dates that matter
How to check in on a friend who is grieving: how often to text, what to say months later, plus a gentle plan for anniversaries and hard dates.
Why men lose friends as they get older (and how to keep your mates)
Why do men lose friends as they get older? What the male friendship recession is, when the drop tends to start and low-cringe ways to keep your mates.
Friend keeps cancelling plans? What it means, what to say and how to cancel nicely
Friend keeps cancelling plans last minute? What it means, what the research says, replies to copy, when to stop asking and how to cancel politely yourself.
How to keep a long-distance friendship alive (time zones and all)
How to keep a long-distance friendship alive: time zones, easy rituals, visits and a rhythm you can both keep, plus 21 things to do together.
Losing friends after having a baby? A guide for both sides of the pram
Losing friends after having a baby is common. Here’s why it goes quiet, what to text a new parent and how both sides of the pram can stay close.
Why friendships drift apart (and how to gently stop it)
Why friendships drift apart, what the research says about losing friends, a quick drift check and gentle ways to stop the slide before it becomes a gap.
Do you really need a personal CRM for friends? (Your oldest mate isn’t a sales lead)
Thinking about a personal CRM for friends? What they are, who really needs one and lighter ways to keep track of friends without all the admin.
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