How to host Friendsgiving without it turning into a second job
How to host Friendsgiving: when to hold it, who to ask, an invite text to copy and how to run the potluck so the host gets to sit down too.
The short of it
- Friendsgiving is a Thanksgiving-style dinner with friends, usually on a weekend in November so nobody has to choose between it and family.
- The Saturday before Thanksgiving is the easy default: close enough to feel festive, far enough from Thursday that people are still in town.
- Send one group text with the day, the time and “bring a dish”, then keep a list of who is bringing what.
- People who eat with others more often tend to report feeling happier and having more people to lean on, so the dinner is worth more than the food.
Friendsgiving is Thanksgiving dinner with your friends instead of, or as well as, your family. It needs a day, a table, one group text and a list of who is bringing what. That’s the whole job, and the rest of this guide is how to keep it that small.
It isn’t ancient. Merriam-Webster started tracking the word in 2007 and added it to the dictionary in 2020, according to NPR’s history of the holiday. So there are no rules to get wrong.
When to hold Friendsgiving
Thanksgiving is the fourth Thursday of November, and that day usually belongs to family. Friendsgiving works best on the weekend before it: the Saturday before Thanksgiving is the easy default. In 2026 that is 21 November, and in 2027 it is 20 November.
Pick the date three or four weeks out. November weekends fill quickly, and a date sent early is a date people protect.
Who to ask
Start with the people you’d call if something went wrong, then fill the table. Six to ten is the sweet spot for most homes: big enough to feel like an occasion, small enough that everyone talks to everyone.
It’s also a good excuse to bring back someone you’ve drifted from. A group dinner is a lower bar than a one-to-one catch-up, and nobody has to explain the gap.
The invite
One group text, with the day, the time and the ask. Specific beats warm here: “sometime in November” gets “yes, definitely” and nothing else. For more on wording, see how to ask a friend to hang out.
- Friendsgiving at mine, Sat 21 Nov, 6pm? Bring a dish 🥧
- Doing Friendsgiving on the 21st. I’ve got the main, can you all bring a side or a pudding? Reply with what you’re bringing so we don’t end up with four pies.
Running the potluck
The host does the main and the space. Everyone else brings something. NPR’s etiquette list is short and sensible: ask about allergies first, keep track of who is bringing what, and don’t turn up empty-handed.
Do
- Ask about allergies and diets in the invite
- Keep a list of who is bringing what
- Give jobs to people who ask: drinks, candles, clearing plates
Don’t
- Cook a whole turkey if you don’t want to. A breast, a roast chicken or a lasagne is fine
- Let guests bring something that needs your oven for an hour
- Leave the washing up until everyone has gone
The day after
Send a thank-you to the group, with a photo if anyone took one. Then put the next one in the diary while everyone is still full: a dinner in January is easier to plan when it’s the sequel.
Questions people ask
When is Friendsgiving?
There is no fixed date. Most people hold it on a weekend in November, often the Saturday before Thanksgiving, so it doesn’t clash with family plans on the Thursday. In 2026 that Saturday is 21 November.
What do you bring to Friendsgiving?
A dish that is ready to eat or nearly so, because the host’s oven will be full. Sides, a salad, bread, drinks or a pie all work. Tell the host what you are bringing so there aren’t five bowls of mashed potato.
Does the host have to cook a turkey?
No. A turkey breast, a roast chicken, a lasagne or a big tray of something vegetarian all do the job. The point is the table, not the bird.
How many people should you invite to Friendsgiving?
As many as fit around your table, which for most homes is six to ten. A smaller table means everyone actually talks to everyone.
Want a hand remembering? Howdy Mate! is free on the App Store.
Sources
- Friendsgiving 101: A history of the made-up holiday and how to celebrate it. NPR, 2025.
- Social eating connects communities. University of Oxford, 2017.
- Breaking Bread: the Functions of Social Eating. Adaptive Human Behavior and Physiology, 2017.
Written by Sammy Sergi, who makes Howdy Mate!, a free iPhone app for keeping in touch with the people who matter. Every guide is checked against the research it cites.
